The War on Drugs - a personal "Letter from the Trenches"

"I am at war with drugs, 

and one of us will die 

and one of us will live"

This war is close to home.  I dare say it affects every family ... I know it affects mine; in fact it has threatened to tear us apart and leave huge gaping holes in our hearts. 

We call it the war on drugs but I suspect drugs/alcohol and other addictions are more the symptoms than the root of the disease.  I write this today to encourage anyone who finds themselves on the front-lines. You can win this.  

Below is an ongoing, current testimonial of a person who is very close to me in this life, and has been for 55 years.  It is a letter he wrote this weekend - a letter from the trenches, so to speak.   

As I read it, I want to remind him of the “punch-line” from my sermon on Grace yesterday.   
     ... “No one, and no sin can out-run God’s grace”. 

Here is his note, exactly as he wrote it except I have deleted names and references that might identify the treatment facility where he is living, or the friends to whom he refers. The writer is a 55 year old man who has been successful in many ways. It is probably fair to say that he didn't realize it was a war when he started.  It is probably fair to say he thought it was a game.  

Today I went to a cocaine anonymous meeting for lunch

            … and for dinner went to a narcotics anonymous meeting

                         … followed by a gamblers anonymous meeting. 

I try to do at least 2 meetings a day, but with the schedule here, sometimes I can only make 1.

My Dad asked my Mom why I go to so many meetings.  The answer is very simple ... I am at war with drugs, and one of us will die and one of us will live.  Make no mistake; this is a life or death battle that I have found myself in.

I do not have another relapse in me, I simply cannot.   

• I lost 10 times more money gambling this time than the last relapse 10 years ago. 
•  And I did 150 times more drugs, both financially and physically in the last year than I ever did when in my youth and stupid. 

Another relapse can end in only jails, institutions or death. 

There are no other alternatives, and I must remind myself of that each and every day, and each and every hour of that day. 

• ... Jails 
• ... Institutions 
• ... Or death

Nobody wins this battle without complete abstinence, and it seems that the only way to get that is to follow 100 percent of the program 100 percent of the time.  Go to fellowships, do the 12 steps, find a sponsor, find the Higher Power, reach out to support both within and without the fellowships, and most importantly don't use.

• A bunch of the guys went to a funeral on Thursday, for a guy who used to cook here.  He was found in a hotel room in another city, alone, dead from an overdose.  
• My friend down the hall lost the guy who brought him here to get cleaned up, 
• dead from an overdose.  
• My friend “P…”  was murdered by a guy she took in, 
• and he who later took his own life. 

This is an ugly world that I am in, but everyone is desperately trying to make it better.

I drove three guys to meetings tonight, all of whom have had jail time, due to their obsession with drugs.  They are now obsessed with their cleanliness.  Hopefully they can maintain it. The odds aren't that high ... unless you work 100 percent of the program 100 percent of the time.

This is definitely a war on drugs. I am definitely working 100 percent of the program 100 percent of the time, but have to be oh so diligent that I don't get complacent.  The stakes are just that high.  Keep me in your prayers

Just for Today